Tired and Wired

Sometimes I have the opposite problem that other people have. It's when I can't concentrate on anything but work. I can't sit and relax with a comic or a book or a movie because my mind won't focus on any of them. Of course by work I don't mean what people generally think of as work such as digging a ditch or consulting tax tables. I mean my own artwork. My drawing or painting or any other creative pool I dip my toe in.

This is really not a problem when I have the time and energy to indulge my compulsions. But when it's getting late at night and I have already worked all day that I get tired and wired. My mind is still going at a million miles a minute but my concentration has dissolved into the fatigue of the day. But still I persevere and do more work. Or pace back and forth. That doesn't take much concentration.

The problem is that if I'm not careful I will tire myself to the point of collapse. Not dramatic English drama fainting in a heap of "Ohhhsss..." collapse. Just, "I think I better lie down, now I can't seem to get up, maybe I'll just nap for a bit" collapse. It's not a regular nap; it's a warning to take it easy nap.

I am a morning person and am up and working early so late at night comes early for me. Usually around ten o'clock. Post meridian. That's when tired and wired can set in. Nothing to do but sit and twitch. It doesn't help that I stand and work. My drawing table, easel and desktop computer are all at standing height. I find it much more comfortable and less tiring to stand than to sit. Easier on the back too. Of course after eight or ten hours of standing when I'm tired and wired working is much more of a challenge. This laptop I'm typing on helps. I've taken up sitting and writing when I can stand no more.

It's not the worst problem to have and it beats when I have no time or energy for my own work and I can feel my life slipping away in the service of others who have no greater goal than to enrich themselves at who-ever's expense. Mine included. Tuppence for you time, sir? That is pain and waste.

I'm tired and wired right now, as I'm writing this.

And there is a glimpse into being me.